ZPCBlog

About the author: Kim Cochrane attends ZPC with her husband Jim.  Joining in the late 1980s, their two adult children grew up at ZPC. Having served in various capacities, currently she’s involved with the VBS Prayer Team, Worship Team, helping to serve various meals, and enjoying the Thinking Biblically Sunday school class.  Otherwise look for her at a swimming pool, working in the yard, with a book, or enjoying a movie. 

Have I totally eradicated it from my communication style? No!  Have I made significant progress and reaped the rewards? Yes!

Years ago I decided to give up sarcasm for Lent. Rather than using sarcasm I was going to express myself in a genuine fashion. Sarcasm had been in my repertoire for years. When I was a young adult an older acquaintance called out my use of it before I even knew the definition.

While there are various definitions of sarcasm, none of them are attractive. The word comes from the Greek word sarkazein, literally “to tear flesh,” or bitter words. Today we may think of it as saying the opposite of what we mean. This presumes that the listener will know what we actually mean or it leaves them wondering.  Ouch!

My Lent challenge was the result of an adult Sunday school class at ZPC when the teacher brought up a C. S. Lewis quote. If you’re not familiar with C. S. Lewis, he’s a 20^th century British theologian known for Christian fiction and non-fiction such as The Chronicles of Narnia, The Screwtape Letters, and Mere Christianity. Suffice it to say he’s a deeply insightful guy whose concepts often require more than a moment’s contemplation on my part to understand. So it was that Sunday. “Flippancy (sarcasm) is a thousand miles from joy.”

I didn’t get it. I figured C. S. had to know what he was talking about so I kept puzzling. Slowly it began to dawn on me. Lent came around and I’d become aware of my usage though I hadn’t really reduced it. I determined to formalize my commitment and bring God into the effort, choosing not to tell anyone what I was attempting.

I certainly did not succeed. Even as I sought to eliminate it, God used my commitment to reveal the frequency and circumstances surrounding my use of sarcasm. I stumbled through each day. I used it to feel clever, elevating myself, at the expense of owning my true feelings, expressing myself honestly, and being vulnerable.  I saw more clearly how it confused those who thought I meant what I said or weren’t “on the inside” of the situation. Often that was the pure of heart, children, or gentle people. In short, people who weren’t sarcastic or exposed to sarcasm.

That was not who I was called to be. I began to understand more completely what “a thousand miles from joy” meant.

Lent came to an end. In my failure God had taught me much. I decided to continue my journey, this was not to be a temporary challenge. I shared my Lenten commitment and ongoing effort with my husband and children.

Continuing to walk with God, I increasingly felt the joy of successfully preventing the sarcastic words from crossing my lips.

At some point the goal to eliminate sarcasm was embraced by the entire family. Over the years that has served us well. We’ve communicated more honestly, owned our feelings, and become more vulnerable with each other. It’s one of those traits that is part of who we are as the Cochrane family.

As I said at the beginning, I haven’t completely succeeded though I’m no longer a thousand miles from joy!

Prayer

Heavenly Father, even as we stumble toward you this Lenten season, thank you for sending your Son to be with us every step of the way and in the days to follow.
In Christ we pray.
Amen.

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